Blog posts focused on the raw struggles of a woman dealing with infertility and her walk with God.
2 Peter 3:9 ” The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”
Your journey is meant to bring you closer to God even when it feels the exact opposite, for He wants to bring you closer to Him and doesn’t want to lose you.
I have doubted God over and over again in our struggles. I’ve so often told Him that I COULDNT DO THIS, and that I couldn’t handle it anymore. Obviously that’s not true because God will not give us more than we can take. Through all of this I can say without a single doubt: God has been with me, and hasn’t left.
But…… I’m ashamed of my attitude and at times reactions of it all. I let myself get bitter at times, and judge parents who I thought didn’t deserve to be. ( Who am I to say who deserves something, or that I would deserve it more than someone else.) I allowed anger in my heart, and thought I shouldn’t have to wait. No matter what your journey, its part of a carefully designed wonderful plan to bring us to Christ, if we choose to have the right waiting attitude.
Do you believe this? Are you willing to wait with a good attitude? When you look back on your journey (even if your still in the middle of it) what will you see? More importantly what do you want to see? Are you able to say” Lord no matter what, I WILL PRAISE YOU?”
Heavenly Father, I will praise You! Lord forgive my attitude and revive it into an attitude of joy. So many of Your children have had to wait and we can see that there is such an amazing purpose for it all. May we trust in Your plan. In Jesus Name, with love and praise. AMEN.
With love: The Hopeful Wife
Well I must say I have been caught up by the chaos of Summer… so hopefully you will forgive me for not posting in the last while. Camping trips, spending time with loved ones and other various projects have been keeping me busy. It was a blessing though, and it helped keep my mind off infertility.
Now that life has calmed down for a bit, it hit me again. In all honesty it makes me feel like a failure. So I’m just sitting here wondering why my body doesn’t do what its supposed to. Why don’t I have regular cycles? Why cant I seem to get pregnant yet when so many other woman can? Why do I have to wait, while others are begging for a break? Why do the people who want to be parents so badly have to wait?
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14
O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever. Psalm 136:1
I have so many questions, and it seems like so few answers. My comfort is Christ. My comfort is knowing that God has mercy on me, and hasn’t left my side. Simply put, I’m not a failure not in His eyes. So when your questioning God or your body, or the journey of infertility remember that His plans are good. God sees, He knows, always hears, and loves you beyond measure!
The Hopeful Wife
“But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt”.
Recognize this story? If not read Genesis 19! This verse in particular has been popping up in my mind the last while. Lot’s wife looked back when she knew she shouldn’t, and in doing so lost her life! It seemed like she just couldn’t let go.
This verse brought me to a revelation of sorts about my life, and I hope it does the same for you as well. How often do I look back and choose to not go forward?
If people hurt me with their comments do I let go, or do I choose to rethink each word they said and hold it against them?
When life doesn’t go the way I planned do I constantly look back, or do I choose to move forward?
If circumstances beyond my control change the path I’m walking on will I choose to keep on trusting God?
I’m sure Lot’s wife also thought that life didn’t go the way she had planned (after all they were leaving their home). I think that her story shows the grave danger of not wanting to let go!
I truly believe that we have to let go of our plans for our life, and trust God with it all ESPECIALLY when you are going through infertility. After all how can we see God’s plan for our future if we are constantly looking back??
With hope for the future ♡ ~The Hopeful Wife
I just went through a very rough week. I knew Mother’s day was coming and that added onto my struggle. I spent most of Sunday’s church service trying to blink away tears. I’ve had a lot of pregnancy announcements in my life the last while by people close to me, and I feel worn down. However God (as always♡) has been working on me , and answering other prayer requests so I can see He is listening. I know He is showing me that He is MORE than able to answer my petitions. His timing is not mine though…. and some day I will understand.
God, I want to thank you for all the blessings you give and the prayers You answer. I don’t always understand why we struggle with infertility but I want to trust in Your will. May You give me the strength and encouragement to continue and give Your peace to those struggling as well. In Jesus Name with love and thanksgiving. Amen.
With love ~ The Hopeful Wife
My heart is aching as Mother’s Day is coming around. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried, or tried to keep myself from crying. So this post is more for the mothers out there…. and what I would like you to remember this Mother’s Day.
- Remember that your child is a true blessing and a gift from God.
- Remember that your worst days as a mother are ones that someone struggling with infertility is simply dreaming about!
- Remember all the ones out there struggling with infertility and send up a prayer for them because Mother’s Day is just like a knife in the heart; a reminder of what we don’t have….
Please do not misunderstand motherhood is challenging (but rewarding) and definitely has its moments of frustration, tears and heartaches as well. I only want to remind you because I’ve seen so many moms take it for granted. I have seen so many moms brush aside their children, or tell their children to leave them alone (though I do get that mom’s need their alone time). I have seen Mom’s use only discipline and very rarely love, or the other way around where the love they give is given with items not actions.
I am NOT trying to criticize, I just want to encourage you to count your blessings! Those little feet running around is just a dream for some.♡
With love ~ The Hopeful Wife
The sum of our journey with infertility (so far) was not an easy post for me to write. As me and my husband were talking about our journey it became painfully obvious that our desire has yet to be fulfilled. It hurts knowing we are not closer to our dream after a few years….
Our journey starts with us being okay if we didn’t have kids right away. We didn’t think much of it when we didn’t get pregnant right away because of that fact. Around our one year anniversary my cycle acted up like crazy, which ended up with a trip to the emergency room. I ended up being treated for cysts. At that time the doctor also ended up testing me for ovulation knowing that me and my husband were trying to conceive at that point, and the results were negative. That’s when we got our first prescription for Clomid which we decided not to use as we were not ready to try any other methods yet. We didn’t know( or think) that our journey would be far from over.
Since my cycle kept bothering me I went to another doctor who referred me to an Infertility doctor saying it could take up to six months (maybe more) to get in. Surprisingly I think it only took a bit over a month.
So we met with the Fertility Dr. and got our answer back after some tedious, uncomfortable and sometimes painful tests. I wasn’t ovulating….which we already knew!
We decided to try Clomid. I went through two rounds of Clomid and sadly no success.
Today we are hoping, praying, waiting for our little blessing, keeping busy and doing our best to work for God’s kingdom!♡
With love, The Hopeful Wife
Hello again. In the spirit of national infertility awareness week(NIAW) im going to post a short encouragement/prayer while I’m working on other posts!
Today I’m going to encourage you to take into prayer those who are struggling with infertility. Infertility so often feels like a journey that your going through alone, and that is not the case. I have been constantly amazed in the last while about how many people I have talked to had been struggling with infertility at one point in their life. So the way I see it is the more people that share their story the better!
Need more encouragement than this? Go to Ayla and Calebs YouTube channel and watch their video for NIAW . It of course is called You are not alone | # LISTEN UP!
God, today I’m going to ask you to come in to all the hearts of all those struggling with infertility. God this is not something that is easy to go through but we know that you have a plan for it. So while we are waiting for our heaven sent blessing, we will praise You! May we count each day as one day closer to our answered prayers. In Jesus Name with love and thanksgiving. AMEN.
With love… The Hopeful Wife
Hey everyone. I’m writing today to talk to you about something important especially to me. This coming week April 23rd to 29th is National Infertility Awareness Week! So this week I’m asking you to be brave and to share your story! Spread awareness about infertility, how difficult it can be,and how important it is for us to receive prayers for this. Our infertility story should never be something to be ashamed about and not something to be hidden behind closed doors. So this week share your story, post something about infertitilty awareness in your status, or simply comment below with your story! And for all of you out there who knows someone struggling with infertility, please show your support as well. If you want some great banners to post to support this etc. go to www.resolve.org for some downloadable images.
This week I’m also hoping to dive further into our infertility journey.
I cannot tell you when this struggle will be over. I can however do my best to share my journey to let you know you are not alone. More importantly I want to remind you (and myself) that God hasn’t left us. He hears our prayers and desires and catches every tear we cry( Psalm56:8).
Be prayerful and trust that God will answer your prayers.
Hitherto have ye asked nothing In my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full. John16:24
Don’t give up. Keep faith.
With love, The Hopeful Wife
Today I am not okay. Right now I am angry, sad, very frustrated and out of hope. As of this moment I don’t know how to deal with infertility anymore. I don’t know how to be encouraging, and I don’t want to smile. My heart hurts…. it actually physically hurts! All I want to do is scream… and cry out in frustration.
God I don’t understand. I’ve seen so many couples have their prayers answered, so many pleas to You that have been heard. So I’m wondering right now if You are listening. Do You hear me God? Are You beside me? Have You forgotten about me?
I know the answers to those questions God, but right now I need to be reminded. Remind me God that Your there for me, remind me that You are carrying me, remind me of Your grace and love and hold me close.
Wipe the tears from my face and show me that there is more to life than this. Help me so that infertility does NOT define me, but rather let me be defined with what You did for me and how You have changed me.
Signed With Love, Your daughter.
My letter to God is raw and kind of ugly. I am not proud of myself for doubting this much and being… well lets just say the word jealous. Jealously has raised its ugly head all to often in the last while for my liking. I wish I could say that I don’t get jealous, or that I’m always happy for people right away when they tell me that they are expecting but I’m not. I am happy for them… but just incredibly sad for myself so it just takes me a bit to get over my sadness for myself and be happy for them. So hopefully everyone will be understanding if I don’t jump for joy with them right away. I pray that God will help me rejoice with mothers to be and that my faith will become stronger so that His love will shine. Your way God, let thine will be done.
Until next time… the learning to be Hopeful Wife.
Have you started to doubt the power of God?
Do you feel like He isn’t listening? Are you running out of hope? I know I often feel like this, and during the holidays it gets worse. The aching for your family to grow suddenly becomes stronger and your house feels emptier. With this you start to wonder…. does God answer prayers?
Yes!!! He does! That’s what I want you to know and focus on this Christmas season. God listens, He hears your pleas and He knows your desires.
When you can’t seem to find happiness in the holidays think about all your answered prayers this year.
Maybe your husband got a job that was a better environment.
Maybe family members realized how hard infertility was for you and they showered you with love.♡
Maybe you got a positive pregnancy test, and had your prayers answered.
I don’t know what your petitions to God were, but I’m sure some were answered….even if it was as simple as your husband getting home safely in bad weather.
Give yourself some grace this Christmas!
This Christmas gift yourself some grace if you’re finding it hard. Give yourself a break if you burst into tears. It’s okay! Cry a bit and then remember as you dry your tears GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS!
With love and Christmas wishes♡
The LTB( learning to be) Hopeful Wife.