Category: The Hopeful Wife

Blog posts focused on the raw struggles of a woman dealing with infertility and her walk with God.

Praise God!( Even When your in Tears)

font_lab_6I burst into tears today…

I was cleaning my living room making ready for our Christmas tree when it dawned on me. The ornament, the one I had so lovingly bought last year most likely wouldn’t be put on our tree this Christmas season. The ornament made for a new family member, the one I so long to hang on the tree would probably sit in a bag for another year. So I just stood there and had myself a good cry. At times that’s all you can do, cry out to God. I kept going and my living room is now sparkling and ready for a tree.

I’m sharing this because I know that some days you just break down. Some nights you cry deep into the night. Sometimes the only thing you want to do is scream… and that is why I have decided to add a list of songs that get me through. I want to share this so hopefully the next time you are feeling down, you find encouragement in song and you can worship and praise God when you’re in tears.

So here goes:

  1. Just be held – by Casting Crowns
  2. Still – By Hilary Scott
  3. Thy Will – Hilary Scott
  4. Shoulders- by David Wesley
  5. Trust in You- by Lauren Daigle
  6. Eye of the Storm- By Ryan Stevenson
  7. Oceans (where feet may fail) -by David Wesley
  8. Fix my eyes- by David Wesley
  9. Chain breaker- by Zach Willams
  10. Holy Spirit- Francesca Battistelli

So what about you? When your days are rough what do you use to get you through? Any songs for me?

Let us sing praises to God in the good times, and the bad!

With love – The Hopeful Wife

 

 

When Your Not Pregnant

font_lab_4It’s happened again! Feeling nauseous ,queasy, tired and my period is nowhere to be found. Another negative pregnancy test and I’m disappointed.

And my faith? I can feel it being tested.

So what do you do in moments like this when your body is saying one thing, but it isn’t meant to be? When your hormones are raging and frustrations are mounting?

The answer? ….

You learn to trust! You learn to trust God and lean on Him. You learn to be patient. Ugh, I know right. Patience is hard to come by when you want a child.

That’s when you learn to trust in this:

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding”. Psalm 3:5

Gods timing is not ours to control, and it is perfect. Trust in it. TRUST IN GOD!

I’m here to tell you it gets easier (which by the way isn’t something I thought I would ever say with this struggle). But it does….. it’s not easy all the time, and every time a new baby is born it hurts very deeply, but it does get easier. Days will come when it wont cross your mind, or when it does you will be okay with it. It doesn’t mean you don’t want kids anymore, or that you have given up. It just means your learning to accept it! And sometimes that’s the best thing we can do. Just simply let go, and let God deal with it when you’re not pregnant.

With love, The Hopeful Wife

My Letter to God

open-letter

Dear God:

I’m struggling, again.

I’m feeling alone in my struggles, and feeling worthless and used. I’m feeling quite left out of the “mommy club”. God You alone know my heart…. and how much I ache to be heard and understood.

Moms don’t seem to want my comments or advice, as if since I don’t have my own children, I must know nothing( God, You know I’m only trying to help).

God… when I mention that people should be thankful for the children they have, I get looked at as if I have no heart. God, they’re forgetting to be thankful.

I know our hearts desires are all different, and we all ask you for different things… but I struggle so much when it seems like the one thing I want is being taken for granted by someone else.

God…. I’m trying so hard to leave it to You, and to enjoy this time now without children. I’m trying to not take it for granted, though I often fail at that. I honestly want to give it all to YOU.

My heart is aching to be heard….

So, I’m crying out to You knowing that You listen, You hear my prayers, and will answer them in Your perfect timing.

Signed With love,  The Hopeful Wife

          I guess my letter doesn’t sound really hopeful does it?

However, I wanted to share this because;

  1. God was telling me to write,
  2. This letter helps me find peace with it all,  and
  3. Struggling to conceive doesn’t feel hopeful most of the time!

So, I want to encourage all of you struggling with this, or even with something else to write your letter to God!

God WANTS to hear our struggles ,and He wants us to talk to Him. So write your letter, tell God how its going.

And if you need a little extra encouragement, read Psalm 30: 2-8.

Search Gods word, its His Love letter to you!

With love for all of you, and a lighter heart, I bid you  “adieu”.

The (learning to be) Hopeful Wife

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Walking in My Shoes” PS. I have a Different Pair


Hey everyone! So quite awhile ago I was told that one of our friends had trouble conceiving their second child. The couple trying had tried for a few months before she had gotten pregnant again. A few months! All I was thinking was come talk to me again after its been a couple years of trying. But hey, who’s counting? I get it though… when your trying to have a child and it doesn’t work as easily as you thought, or as easily as it worked the first time, you get concerned. I understand the fear…. just as I hope you understand that I’m saying this with love in my heart. Infertility (wow, I’m really starting to dislike this word) is often diagnosed after the couple has been trying for more than a year without success. So if you only tried for a few months, consider yourself blessed.

You don’t know what its like unless you are in my shoes, or wearing the same pair (Though for those of you trying so hard to understand and be compassionate, THANK YOU!) My shoes are called “infertility shoes” or “not ovulating shoes”. Or maybe “struggling with infertility shoes”. For those of you who can relate ( and I’m so sorry if you can) this will make sense to you. How I long that we could all put on “Motherhood shoes”. For now God has given me these shoes, and I choose to wear them. Infertility isn’t my choice, but accepting it is.

 

My Infertility Shoes!

God, my feet are tired

and my shoes feel worn through

I don’t want to keep on walking

in these worn-out ugly shoes.

I don’t like the way they fit me

and I want a new pair,

but You look at me so sadly and say

” My Child, please don’t despair

these shoes are making you stronger

though you may not know it yet,

these shoes will give you compassion

My Child please don’t fret.

My plan for you is beautiful

just like your special shoes

please accept the shoes I’ve given

and KNOW that I’m with you”!

I pray all of you out there like me, may find God’s meaning for your “special shoes” no matter what they may be.

Feel free to comment with your thoughts.

With love, The Hopeful Wife

God’s Strength


A good friend of mine recently told me I was strong. I agree, BUT only because I know God has given me strength. God has been holding me up for the last while. At times I have been fighting God, not wanting to accept reality. I do NOT want to accept the fact that we might never have children. I have such a great desire to be a mom and to raise up children in Christ. So I have been fighting this battle and learning over and over again to give it to God! I’ve known for a while that I haven’t been ovulating… and of course if there is no ovulation -there is no baby. So now I’m fighting a new battle…. what do to about not ovulating, and what is right in God’s eyes!

I’m counting on one thing though, God will give me strength.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

I know I wouldn’t be who I am today without God, and I wouldn’t have the strength to share my story if it wasn’t for Him in my life. Every single day I wrestle with infertility, and time and time again He helps me through. God sends people with caring hearts my way, and He gives my husband the words to help me get through another day. When I’m crying on the couch saying “God, I cant do this“, begging Him “ God please don’t make me go through this” He is right there beside me. God gives me strength! That is why I can be strong.

 

 

 

Rejoicing in Infertility


I never imagined my husband and I would have trouble conceiving. After 2 years of trying, its time to face that reality. It becomes quite difficult when you see everyone around you getting pregnant, and you don’t. My sister recently told me they were expecting… I hugged her, cried a little with her and told her “congratulations” as my heart was aching inside. I left early that day and sobbed the whole way home. Please don’t get me wrong… I’m thrilled she’s going to be a mom, I am just sad I’m not there yet! I mentioned this to my sister later on, and she told me they had been waiting to tell people in hopes we would become pregnant as well. Her love for me… almost brought me to tears. This helped me learn that it was okay for me to be happy for her, but more importantly it was okay for me to be upset.

It was okay for me to be upset! 

This is something you need to be allowed to grieve over. My sister understood. Through this all God taught me to rejoice even when it doesn’t go my way.

“Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say rejoice” Philippians 4:4

I can be happy (even excited) for people around me that are blessed enough to become pregnant. Why, you might ask?

I choose to be thankful for life’s blessings, and I choose to not be bitter over the things I don’t have! While this isn’t easy and I often fail to do so… I can still rejoice.

” Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” Philippians 4:11

With Love, The Hopeful Wife 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waiting On God


“Don’t you want a child?” Ouch. That hurts. This is what I was asked when after 1 1/2 years of marriage, we didn’t have any children. I couldn’t help thinking, “If only you knew how much I wanted a baby, how muchwanted a little bundle of joy and how much my husband wanted to be a daddy, you wouldn’t ask that question!” but instead I replied ” We are waiting for God to give us a child.”  Often when I say that, I get a look of pity. I don’t want that. I’m not asking for pity. I’m simply stating the truth. We are waiting for God’s will and His great plan for us. I’ve often prayed for more patience and I can honestly say God is answering my prayers and teaching me to be patient.

I think in situations like mine people often don’t know what to say. and you know what? THAT’S OK! Like I said, I’m not asking for pity, I’m asking for understanding. I’m asking that comments like:

  • “Your still young”
  • “You have plenty of time”
  • “Just relax and it will happen”

be kept to yourself. And the reason I say that? I would rather hear you say ” I’ll pray for you.” Prayer accomplishes things empty words don’t. I’m writing this for everyone out there struggling with infertility or knows someone who is. Bottom line is YOU ARE NOT ALONE! God hasn’t left you. He is always there.

Deuteronomy 31:6 KJV

“Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, He it is that doth go with thee; He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

With love,

The Hopeful Wife

About the Hopeful Wife

Hey! I just wanted to introduce you all to a very dear friend of mine whom I’ve known for a few years now. Recently we have gotten to know each other pretty well and she opened up to a bit about the struggles in her journey with infertility. I was able to see and understand her situation and others like her in a completely different light. I also realized she has quite the way with her words, so I pestered her into writing a section for my blog. I feel that this will be so helpful to many of us, who do not know the struggles of infertility, to better understand and know how to support our loved ones who do struggle through this. Also I believe she has such a wonderful faith in our Lord, and although she struggles at times to understand why this is God’s plan, I think she could be a great encouragement to others in the same situation. So without further ado I introduce to you  “THE HOPEFUL WIFE!”  Hopefully you will enjoy her posts and I ask that you keep her in your prayers.

Hi, Everyone!

Like the Mennonite Wife, I have chosen to keep my identity a secret. I am a daughter of Christ and a young wife. I’ve always enjoyed writing and feel God is using me to share my journey and hopefully encourage others out there, who also are mothers in their hearts. ♥

With love,

The Hopeful Wife